i know i have been neglecting this blog and while i missed blogging here is why nothing happened on here for the past 6? 7? weeks.
going back to grads school is quite a change. i thought it would be easier, to be honest. i knew it was going to be work but at the same time i had a “been there, done that” attitude about it because, hey, i HAVE been there, i already GOT a masters degree.
boy was i wrong. what i wasn’t aware of is how much school differs from work life. at my workplace there were always interruptions, rarely did you have 30 minutes of uninterrupted focussed work.
well in grad school there is no one calling you constantly or interrupting otherwise. you sit in class for 2.5 hours and your attention is there 100% of the time. you come prepared to class and are ready to prove you are prepared. you are being asked your opinion and you sure don’t want to be the person who has to pass on a question. make that i not you.
so, i want to be prepared. hence i read. a lot. as in A LOT. yes, i knew grad school is reading but jeez let me tell you the longer you’ve been out of school the more difficult it is to actually read so much academic literature. and since most classes start out with theory i read THEORETICAL papers. i never was a fan of that. if i may quote myself here “i rather deal with livig people than with dead ones” (franzi 2003).
so school is one thing that kept my brain occupied. the other thing is culture shock. i had one of the worst ones this time around and in a way i am still coming to terms with that. not only did i move to another continent, i also moved in with my special someone. that alone would have been enough for a culture shock since i lived by myself for most of my adult life. don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! but it’s definitely an adjustment and food for thought. would i trade it for my life before? heck no. the warm fuzzy feeling i get when i wake up next to him is wonderful (cut me some slack, will ya?! i am in love!).
the other thing i have been dealing with is time management. i’ve been reading for school and enjoying the newfound closeness in my relationship, i’m commuting to campus and to my assistantship. bottomline: i have found no brainpower to socialize. when i was ready to call people no one picked up the phone and that threw me in a loop of “no one cares about me” and that started a whole other set of frustrations…this has gotten better but i’m still working on having a normal life.
what i’m trying to say is that i gave up my live in germany, my hobbies, friends, family. and it has been a rough 7 weeks coming to terms with what that really means. i have a new life that i explore anew every day. i expand my horizon (albeit so far it tends to be a shoppig horizon). i am exploring a to me unknown neighborhood in dc and yes, that includes knowing where the stores are.
this isn’t a pitty post. i wanted this and i still want it! but it is harder than i thought it would be and i am discovering new aspects within me that are shocking and surprising and oh so much more.
bear with me folks. i will get back to blogging regularly and i will have stories to tell. for now i am still overwhelmed.