just to give you an idea of what i have been doing in the past days…

i landed in heathrow airport on friday december 19 at 2pm and have been stuck ever since.

aside from the 2 numbers given to me from british airways customer relations, friends, family, and myself researched another 15 numbers for me to call to get help.

i have made over 100 calls on skype since saturday around 8am (that’s when i bought the plug converter thing to get my laptop going) that connected, either to an automated message, a waiting line, or to an operator. this number does not include the number of times i got a busy signal.

i called a gazzillion times on my cell phone. thankfully i can only track the last 20 calls. better for me not to know what my phone bill will be like.

also, i called using the phones in the hotels i stayed at. those calls must be in the hundreds also.

i am not sightseeing – because there is no way for me to get to london and quite frankly even if there was i am currently too scared to go anywhere and miss out on some info i would need to make my next move. so don’t try to suggest i use this time to do something. i am bad ass broke and have to keep the cash i have to pay for the bus shuttle on thursday.

i am jealous of people who got to rebook to flights leaving on wednesday. i was rebooked to a thursday flight and yes, even though that is just a few hours later i am still jealous. i just took a walk to the gas station nearby and i saw airplanes flying. i can’t tell you how incredibly angry and frustrated i am. i am jealous, i am mad, i am sad, i am glad i at least have a warm hotel room. i want to scream out loud but i can’t. the only form of protest coming out of me is crying. that is all i can do. i have no strength left to complain to anyone (airline, airport, whoever), i just cry.

this is a situation that is beyond words. it is beyond anything i have ever experienced. not only is it the situation in general but me in it. i have never seen myself like that. i am a strong person, i am smart, i know my way around, i am not helpless. but this has broken me down to the point that i couldn’t even make a decision on anything. i needed other people to think for me because my body was (and partly still is) on “staying alive” mode. the energy i have left is used to get my heart pumping. my brain is dead.

i have lived off of 3 cookies in 24 hours, the little water i had didn’t even make it out of my body (unless as tears). i have come to terms and understand that i am not able to change anything, that i am condemned to waiting. and waiting is what i have done since friday 2pm.

i’ll give you a breakdown of my journey in the next post.

franzi