this book (german only) was given to me as a birthday present. given it’s feminist character i doubt i would have picked it up myself at the bookstore. however, since it was a present i got to read it anyways. i have to say that it doesn’t happen very often that i actually mark parts in a book that i find worthy of re-reading and re-thinking. in this book i did, several times.

the book discusses the female role (mostly in a german context) and how many women fall in the same traps time and time again, generation after generation. and while our mothers and grandmothers lived with a set of regulations that left them no choice but to accept these regulations. the women of today face no such regulations yet still fall for the same role traps such as staying at home when one kid is born, staying longer because of the lack of child care alternatives, falling for the idea of the man as sole financial supporter of the family etc.

while the book does have an accusatory tone of voice often i did not feel it too overwhelming or too “emma” style. i can see why some women might find this book offensive yet i do not believe that the author is promoting one lifestyle over the other. rather it is about seeing ones options and being aware of how the various decisions we now make can influence our future 20 oe 30 years from now.

i have a friend who has, since i met her, stated that she wants to be married and have at least one kid by the time she is 30. she would not compromise on her idea of this happy little family. every potential partner she met as single woman was measured against her criteria and needs of what she wanted to happen in the next. however, i feel that she does not think much beyond that point. as if this is the end to it. she’s an educated, smart and good looking woman. why does she not think a step ahead? in this regard her idea of the future is very different from mine. for me, my personal happiness does not lie in marriage and children. it is ok if it happens but it is also ok if it does not. i feel complete without a big ring on my finger unlike her who makes me feel like (at times anyways) that this is all this is about. i believe that different perspective will eventually lead to us living very different lives.

the book is a quick read but food for thought at the same time. go ahead and give it a shot!

franzi