fact: i had my last meltdown june 9
fact: moving sucks
fact: having less than 24 hours to hand over your apartment with said apartment still being a mess is more than i can handle.
= yet another meltdown. big time. since my last day at work last week i have been going nonstop to get this apartment ready for the hand over. i thought i was doing sort of OK, the piles got smaller, the amount of trash bags carried from my apartment grew and the place got more and more empty. but in the last 48 hours or so something in me happened. the last bit of strength that i had left, the last bit i could come up with was gone. despite eating carbs like crazy (when i was actually eating) i did not have the strength to walk my stairs anymore. i felt it and each time i walked up and down the stairs to my fourth level apartment i lost more spunk.
this afternoon i was so exhausted that i could not do anything anymore except cry. my special someone had the honor of answering my phone call and oh boy what a phone call it was. poor him. so i cried and cried and eventually he talked me into calling up a friend or two to help me. now, i realize i should have done that before but i had this whack idea of being able to do this by myself. i brought it onto myself and i can work through this. turns out i can’t and the friend i called up got a dose of that as well. more tears, some unintelligible gibberish, and a cry for help and over she came.
just to have someone there with me already made a big difference and it was quite motivating for me. while she cleaned the windows i packed, tossed, and cleaned some more. when she left four hours later i felt very relieved and able to conquer the rest by myself.
i have two rooms basically all ready and four more (including hallway) to sweep and mop. plus picking up knicknacks here and there first, finalize my packing, take the final things over to a friends and mail myself some boxes. the stuff in the boxes did not fit anymore or was too heavy to drag it around with me. like my grandma’s sewing machine. gosh, i really feel bad for mailing it and not having it with me when i board the train but there is just no way i can carry this thing AND another suitcase AND my laptop bag AND my purse AND a huge treking backpack.
my choice is to either not be able to walk at all or have – at the worst – a broken sewing machine. i have no other choice but to go with option one. wish me luck!
now i’m off to bed after this super exhausting day. the handover is in 13 hours. after that all of this will be behind me. i’ll be able to sleep, relax, and focus on the new chapter in my life. 13 more hours…